January 2010
42 posts
DAMMIT, RAPIDSHARE.
I JUST WANT TO STEAL A 4 NON BLONDES ALBUM.
Borrow. I mean borrow.
“This ain’t rock and roll. This is GENOCIDE.”
3-D movies
Put me in the camp of not liking it. I’m not exactly sure what’s being added (besides $3 to my ticket price), but I sure as hell know what’s being taken away.
Those ugly glasses you have to put on dilute the vibrancy of the print. Seriously. Next time you see a film in 3D try this experiment: slip your glasses up sometime during the movie and see how much darker everything is...
meanmartini:
I might be the creepiest drunk lesbian ever.
I think Melissa Ethridge holds that title.
Know how Dane Cook is always going on about...
And remember how that monkey on xanax went berzerk last year and tore a lady’s face off?
I guess what I’m trying to say is, let’s buy Dane Cook a monkey hopped up on xanax.
If the government can fake the moon landing, they...
Ergo, none of your “pictures” prove your existence. Nice try, Illuminati.
But no cigar.
It's cold as fuck.
7 degrees.
21 mph winds.
So now, when I see people walking outside, I actually have an excuse not to talk to them. Only I shouldn’t have to explain it to them. I should just be able to walk by without acknowledging them. Because “my testicles are freezing to my leg” should suffice.
It’s nothing personal. It’s just cold. Okay, with most people it’s pretty...
And now for something completely different: a... →
Guess what, bitches?
I’m a PC.
When does the excommunication begin?
I thought we were over this "deflecting blame onto...
The University of Wisconsin-Whitewater
<complaint
Is the only college campus I’ve ever seen that does not sell newspapers. When I walked into the college bookstore asking for newspapers the woman gave me a look as if I had asked for Cthulu porn or something. “We don’t sell newspapers,” she said. “And you won’t find them anywhere else on campus.”
How is this possible? I wonder if I was the...
Run, Forrest, Run
girl11eleven:
Birth dates. Signs. Astrology.
Mary Carey is Miley Cyrus
I get it. The title has probably taken you aback. How can this be, you ask? It’s complicated, yet true. And the complexity just might make you shit a brick. But here it goes:
Porn princess Mary Carey recently appeared on “Celebrity rehab with Dr. Drew”, in which she admitted to not liking the choices she’s made in her life (including her career path). She was an alcoholic...
ruthakers:
I look like I’ve just been on the giving end of lewd acts to the kool-aid man,
OOOH YEEEAAHHHH.
Because someone had to say it.
Hey! Look at how fucking doomed we are! →
inthefade:
(via daveholmes)
The books, which cost $24 each were, according to the Press Enterprise, bought to allow advanced readers to “look up words that they didn’t know.” However, spokesperson for the school district, Betti Cadmus, added that a committee would be looking into the issue and that it would ”determine the extent to which the challenged material supports curriculum, the...
Dear local news station,
I don’t think this is going to work out anymore. To be honest, I’m starting to care less and less about your smiling, wide eyed, coverage of fires and murders. Furthermore, your complete inability to hire anyone who doesn’t ooze douche-iness from them like a snail after sex. Is being an asshole a requirement for delivering news about a dog giving birth to 16 puppies or Tila...
This is what happens when you sleep with strange... →
Some girls I've dated
The punk
She had a lot of angst and needed everyone else to know about it. There was a lip ring that my friends had a good deal of distaste towards but didn’t bother me too much. Clothing: mostly black. Music of choice seemed to be all over the board. She wanted to work in a morgue because she would only have to deal with dead people, and it was one of the first points we clicked on. Her...
Real "Edge of Darkness" trailer dialogue
“I’m the guy with nothin’ to lose.”
“Fasten your seatbelt.”
“Welcome to Hell.”
“What does it feel like?”
“You had better decide whether you’re hanging on the cross or banging in the nails.”
Does this set a record for most one liners packed into two minutes and 30 seconds?
No, YOU had a wet dream about Witchypoo from H.R....
Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez has accused the...
I’ve been discovered. Where’s a good place to hide an earthquake ray?
