February 2012
44 posts
Johnny Depp is pushing to play Carl Kolchak in a... →
1) I hate remakes.
2) I’m going to get an influx of followers looking for Johnny Depp and getting a Darren McGavin hat.
3) Nobody is going to know that it’s a remake.
4) Whichever studio picks up this project will surely be frustrated by my tendency to pick up and hold that mantle anywhere on the internet.
5) Personal branding FTW.
6) Johnny Depp is not right for that role AT...
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Steve Dildarian, the creator and star of "The Life... →
Please right this wrong.
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The Greater Evil
Rick Santorum has gotten a lot of press recently -far more than he should have - for propagating the vile dogma of the church of Rome. The most notable instance is a 2006 interview recently dug up in which Mr. Santorum states that birth control harms both women and society.
This idea is neither new nor surprising. He is, after all, a member of an organization that continues to foment against...
angelahelga replied to your video: Car Singing: Mediocre Kermit the Frog Impression…
We should do a Kermit and Miss Piggy duet.
This needs to happen. The people demand it.
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WatchCar Singing: Mediocre Kermit the Frog Impression Edition
Also, Car Singing Truths:
Each car singing video produces about 12 takes that get thrown away.
Some of these are nearly full editions of the song where I screw up towards the end, others are just 50 second clips where I screw up right away.
Lots of times it’s just me slamming the phone down really quick after seeing a squad car.
...
The Life and Times of Tim forever and ever. Amen.
Fuck your Big Bang Theory right in the throat. With its own laugh track.
WatchCar singing: Seduction Edition. For Nevin, Angela, Steffy and Holly.
Question of the day: Why don’t more people...
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Here's a thought.
Let’s say Obama is actually a Kenyan subversive (GOD HELP US).
Since your worldview presupposes an omniscient, omnipresent creator, you are a determinist. Nothing can happen that A) Your god does not want to happen or B) Your god does not prevent from happening.
Your god had an infinite number of worlds he could have chosen to create, given that he foresaw every single thing that was going...
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I just got invited to Pinterest
Was totally ready to set up my pin board of head exploding manliness.
BUT LOOK AT THIS BITCH WHO STOLE MY USERNAME.
She hasn’t even used the goddamn thing.
Totally ruining my personal brand.
Filmtastic!: The Woman In Black (2012) →
filmtastic:
The most basic rule of filmmaking is to show, not tell. Nobody likes endless, plodding exposition. But it is rarely mentioned that there can be such a thing as over-showing. The new attempt to tell the story of Susan Black’s novella “The Woman in Black” is a prime example.
The story is…
>Women cracking jokes about Madonna
>Secretly threatened by her sustained sex appeal and relevance.
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My father knows I despise remakes.
But he also knows I love tearing them apart in vitriolic reviews.
And he goes: “Let’s go see ‘The Woman in Black’ and DVR all the super bowl commercials.”
So, yeah. My dad is the shit.
That feeling when you
try to post a car singing video 12 -(count ‘em)- 12 times and Tumblr wouldn’t let it show up and so you transfer it to your computer and upload it from there, but they tell you your video limit was surpassed because of the other posts, except ALL OF THOSE POSTS FAILED. So you upload it to youtube and successfully post it and receive a message from Warner 3 minutes later saying...
Yeah, fuck you.
I am pumped for Madonna’s half time show.
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Jehova's Witnesses arrived this morning.
We had a fruitless chat about 2 Kings: 23, when Elisha summoned two bears out of the woods to maul 42 children to death after they called him bald.
They weren’t familiar with it.
Nor did they heed my advice to “consider the lilies,” who don’t proselytize to anyone.
Always know whence you speak.